Delicious Girl Porn: CW’s Beauty and The Beast
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Delicious Girl Porn: CW’s Beauty and The Beast

Imagine eating a Mallomar cookie. It gives itself over to you on your tongue, surrendering utterly, melting into sublime marshmallow and chocolate mush. It’s so gooey and rich and sweet that you can’t stop with just one. You sort of hate yourself while devouring the next five, but you’re also secretly exulting in the vice.

I am, of course, talking about CW’s Beauty and the Beast, starring Kristin Kreuk and Jay Ryan, both of whom are utterly gorgeous and drool-worthy.

During the long hours of posing for Sabin at night, I’ve Netflixed a lot of TV shows. I don’t like TV much, in general, so finding shows I enjoy is a challenge. There’ve been some fun surprises. I enjoyed The 4400 and Continuum. I really grooved on White Collar. I have a running daydream about my second career as an art thief. Art thieves get to wear sleek black leather catsuits, use all the coolest gadgets, and go into great museums at night, when no one is around to disturb them. Also, do you realize, they search you when you enter the Pinacoteca Vaticano, but they don’t search you when you leave? If you can get that superb little Fra Angelico panel under your shirt, you might be able to keep it!

Last week Netflix suggested Beauty and the Beast, and I started watching. It took me a few episodes to get engrossed. Then, suddenly, without my even realizing it, I was hooked.

It’s all that gazing into each other’s eyes and talking about their relationship. The desire and the longing, the stolen kisses and murmured declarations of eternal love. The intensity of their oft-thwarted passion–and how they discuss it endlessly. Oh, lordy, my girly heart swoons at all that flowery verbiage. I just can’t help it.

No one’s picking up anyone’s dirty socks, which strikes me as highly romantic.

A few nights ago, as Catherine and Vincent dissolved into each other’s arms in a ravishing tangle of beautiful limbs, I sighed. “They’re going to do it,” I cried, clasping my hands to my chest. “They’re finally going to do it!”

“You’re such a girl,” said my husband, rolling his eyes.

“You noticed?” I responded.

He groaned.

This is the man who phoned last week, disgruntled after a long day’s work on a business trip, and declared, “I’m going to eat, poop, and go to sleep!”

“That’s so romantic,” I replied. I mean, you’d think the world’s greatest living figurative artist could muster something a little less pedestrian, right? But I guess all men have a bit of the beast in them.

“I’m not feeling very romantic,” he muttered. I understood that he was tired and that he hates to sleep apart from me and that he travels because the money is good on these gigs. In their own way, his commitment and hard work as a husband and family man bespeak grown up romance. I reminded myself of all of that.

Still, it would have been nice to hear something throaty and suggestive and oozing with ardor. But that’s what TV is for, right?

Last night, after an extended bit of dialogue during which Catherine and Vincent once again affirmed their abiding love and passion, Sabin threw down his sculpting tool. “I can’t take that show anymore!” He stalked out of the bedroom where we work. We were almost done with our third hour of work, and it was after 10 pm,  so it was a good time to finish for the night, anyway.

LISTEN TO THIS BLOGPOST AS A PODCAST HERE.

 

 

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Spiritual Teachings I love

Spiritual Teachings I love.

Of late I have been reading Thich Nhat Hanh, The Art of Power (HarperOne, 2007). This is a beautiful book. It’s about true power, the power that comes from within, from the wellspring of goodness and truth within our souls.

I love what this spiritual teacher says about renewal and about the practice of love and mindfulness. So inspiring. I have just reached the part of the book where Thich Nhat Hanh talks about the declarations of love: “Darling, I am really here for you” is the first declaration. The second is, “Darling, I know you are there and it makes me happy.” And the third is, “Darling, I know you suffer. That’s why I am here for you.”
It’s wonderful to read these statements; they lead me into a deep reverie about love. I end up thinking about my beloveds and deeply sending them my love.
I also have been thinking about a Pathwork lesson on redemption. In general, I am guarded about the Pathwork. It’s not my path, it’s not for me. I find it harsh, rigid, inflexible, and unkind. But there are some interesting and compelling ideas in the Pathwork lectures, which were channeled by Eva Pierrakos, the wife of Core Energetics founder Dr. John Pierrakos.
The lecture in mind was about making restitution after real guilt. “Real guilt” is distinct from “false guilt.” We all do terrible things; that’s part of the human condition. Each of us has a shadow. The work of any spiritual path is to own and integrate the shadow.
At the same time, if we do something terrible, we feel badly about it–unless we’re a sociopath. Fortunately, in the spiritual traditions, there’s a method for returning to self-esteem, for rectification.
The steps are: own the action, apologize for it from the heart, and make restitution. This is about taking responsibility for our own actions. It is liberating, it is empowering. It is one of the foundations of the art of power.
Being Grateful
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Being Grateful

Being Grateful.

I spend a lot of my time alone at a desk. When I am not writing, I’m shlepping my little one. Walking the dogs, shopping for dinner, folding the laundry, breathing through a sweaty yoga class. That’s my daily life–and I’m so grateful for all of those activities.

Then today I had a break in my routine. My lovely friend Lori was visiting from out of town. We went out for a vegan lunch and then wandered in the park. It was a beautiful warm day for wandering and talking. You know those times when you just talk and talk and talk with a friend, someone you really like and enjoy? And sometimes you start laughing together until you both cross your knees to keep from peeing, and all the hilarity of life washes up and out like sunlight? It was one of those times. A treat.

Lori has a splendor to her soul that is a joy to behold. She’s wise and insightful and unbelievably well read. I can talk with her about anything, literally, anything, because she’s been through so much in her life. I enjoy her perspective and I learn a lot, just from hearing her think aloud. I’m so thankful she’s in my life.

Then I came home and my husband was in a sweet and protective mood. There’s a sick stalker in his life, someone persisting in trying to make contact with him even though he’s filed a police report. He was really appalled at the latest sick stalker shenanigans. He was cuddly protective of me, and thoughtful and concerned. He was grateful for me. Sometimes he is very sweet, and I am grateful for that, too.

 

Self reflection
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Self reflection

Self reflection

My husband, missing me, asked for some pictures. I did my best, using a mirror. This is the only picture for public consumption; I got creative with the others.

self reflection

 

Posing for Sabin
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Posing for Sabin

Posing for Sabin

Marriage is hard. The great philosopher of our time, Chris Rock, has this insight into love, but it applies to marriage even more. Just substitute the word “married” for the words “in love”:

If you haven’t contemplated murder, you ain’t been in love. If you haven’t seriously thought about killing a motherfucker, you ain’t been in love. If you haven’t had a can of rat poison in your hand and looked at it for forty-five minutes straight, you ain’t been in love. If you haven’t bought a shovel and a bag and a rug to roll their ass up in, you ain’t been in love. If you haven’t practiced your alibi in front of the mirror, you ain’t been in love. And the only thing that’s stopped you from killing this motherfucker was a episode of CSI: “Oh man, they thorough. I better make up. They might catch my ass.” Never Scared, HBO, 2004

So, added to the usual rigors of the institution, is posing for my husband. He’s in my face, literally, every night. I don’t think the piece he’s making resembles me in the slightest. The two sides of the face are wildly different–am I so asymmetrical? My nose is that lumpy? Really, my ears stick out that much?

But yes, he says, and it’s in process. You can’t judge it for months yet, nor will you ever be detached because it’s a portrait of you. 

Insult and injury. Such are the sacrifices we make for art, and for our spouses.

 

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Prayer for the families of victims in Newtown, CT

May God grant you peace as you face a loss that makes other people shake with fear.
May you be blessed with joy of memory, so that you see the faces of your dear ones as they laughed and played, joked and teased; so that you hear their voices soft with tender connection; so that your arms feel always their solid wholeness of spirit.
May you stay open to receive the gentle good wishes of kin and of strangers alike.
May it comfort you to know that your beloveds are with you always.
May you, every day, stand in the truth of love, and may that truth lead you through suffering back to your own wholeness.
respectfully,
Traci L. Slatton